


Poptopia

by CharlieQuinn



Category: Askewniverse, Backstreet Boys, NSYNC, Popslash
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Drug Use, M/M, RPS - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 13:42:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/687625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieQuinn/pseuds/CharlieQuinn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When you’re not a popstar, life is a bit different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poptopia

April 17th, 2003

Morning:

Scene: A drab street in a drab part of town. There is a strip of shops down one side – a video store, convenience store, a mini mart, chemist and a McDonalds. Standing outside the video store are two boys in the early to late twenties. They are dressed like they have no money, and think they are black. Their names are JAY TEE – who is tall and skinny, and has a blonde afro - and QUIET CHRIS – who is darker, shorter and stouter than his friend. They smoke, Jay Tee yells, and they are a general nuisance to the community at large.

Another boy walks to the video store, and glares at Jay Tee and Quiet Chris. His name is LANCE, and he works at the video store with his friend, JOEY. Neither of them like the two stoners much at all. Jay Tee lights up as he sees Lance approach.

JAY TEE: Yo! Bass! You been suckin’ some ass? Cos’ we knows you like that ass, Bass.  
LANCE: Fuck you.  
JAY TEE: Hey, you’re the one who likes that shit, you perve fucker. I bet you’re thinking about fuckin’ my ass now, ain’t ya? Everytime you close your eyes, all youse are thinkin’ about is stickin’ your skinny dick up my ass and shit, ain’t ya, bitch?

(QUIET CHRIS is looking off into the distance, and nodding, as if to say, ‘yes, that’s exactly what I’m thinking about’. He nods, slowly)

LANCE: You two need a good kick in the balls. How many times do I have to tell you that Joe’s straight as line?  
JAY TEE: Yeah, a really fuckin’ gay line.  
LANCE: He’s the one with the girlfriend. Where are yours?  
JAY TEE: Hey, I’m way too much for just one chick.  
LANCE: Will you just fuck off and go peddle your shit somewhere else? Try the high school or something.  
JAY TEE: Yeah, well, we tried that for a bit, but it didn’t work out, yo. We was all, ‘hey you fine underage bitches, you ever been in a sandwich with a love god and a tiny man?’ ‘Cos me and Quiet Chris here, we’re all about the mad pussy. Them bitches were just throwing themselves at me! We had to leave, cos my midget friend here was jealous of my pussy pulling prowess. Too many rifts, yo. (he shakes his head)  
LANCE: (raising an eyebrow) Restraining order, huh? Kids thought you were creepy as all fuck and called the police?

(Quiet Chris nods)

JAY TEE: That isn’t what really went down. It was just that my powerful jism was making all them bitches pregnant. So I had to leave, cos I ain’t ready to be a father, yo.  
LANCE: Every night I pray to God that you two never procreate. (he points at Jay Tee) You, especially.  
JAY TEE: Is that before or after Joey shoots his load straight into your mouth?  
LANCE: Don’t pretend like you don’t swallow! 

(With that, he goes into the store, leaving Jay Tee shocked)

JAY TEE: (yelling at the closed door) You fuck! You motherfuckin’ ball licker! There’s a line, a line you don’t cross, that’s called the gay line, and me and Quiet Chris, we ain’t never crossed the gay line! (he quiets down) It’s just helping out a buddy, right?

(Quiet Chris nods and agrees with Jay Tee)

JAY TEE: Well, I fuckin’ figured so. (there’s a pause as Jay Tee looks around. He lowers his voice:) Do you wanna go in the alley and we’ll blow each other?

(Quiet Chris shrugs. Why not?)

JAY TEE: Cos that shit, with you and me, that’s different, yo. That ain’t gay. It’s just helping out my best friend, and my best friend helping out me is all.

(Quiet Chris raises an eyebrow, as Jay Tee goes off to find a comfortable place to lean against in the alley)

JAY TEE: (yelling) Come on, you short fucker! I ain’t gonna wait around all day!

MIDDAY:

Scene: A train, around lunchtime. Jay Tee and Quiet Chris are sitting in the dining car, coming back fro where ever it was they went after midmorning blow jobs. They’re talking – well, Jay Tee is talking. Quiet Chris is merely nodding, occasionally brushing a stray curl off Jay Tee’s face. Eventually, two more men join them – one is covered in tattoos and is wearing sunglasses. His name is AJ. The other is tall and too skinny, and giggling. His name is JC. They join Jay Tee and Quiet Chris is their booth.

JAY TEE: Well, if it ain’t the motherfuckin’ Letter Boys. Youse two took your time.  
AJ: How are you doing, Jay Tee? Good thanks, I’m fine. How are you AJ? I’m okay. And you, Quiet Chris? Me? Well, not been up to much lately. Isn’t that nice?  
JAY TEE: Huh?  
AJ: I was just trying to illustrate how nice it would be if you had even a touch of manners, you little skank.  
JAY TEE: I got me a ballsy set of motherfuckin’ manners!  
AJ: Oh, yes. Very polite, aren’t you?  
JAY TEE: What the shit is wrong with you?  
AJ: (sighing) Forget it. So what are you two doing here?  
JAY TEE: Same as you two. Riding a goddamn train.  
AJ: No, retard. I meant, what are you doing here and not selling outside of the video store?  
JAY TEE: It’s Thursday, yo.  
AJ: And that means?  
JAY TEE: It means it’s our fuckin’ day off! We only work mornings on Thursdays.  
AJ: Really? What do you do the rest of the day?  
JAY TEE: (looking guiltily at Quiet Chris) Uh… hang out at the mall, shit like that.  
AJ: (looking from Jay Tee to Quiet Chris and back again) Uh huh.  
JAY TEE: (not liking where this conversation is headed) So what are youse two doing here for? Shouldn’t youse two be outside the House of Mouse?  
AJ: Oh. (rolls eyes) It’s JC.  
JAY TEE: What about JC?  
AJ: He tested the merchandise.  
JAY TEE: So what’s the fuckin’ problem with that? Me and Quiet Chris, we test the merchandise every fuckin’ day, don’t we, Quiet Chris?

(Quiet Chris nods)

AJ: (sighing) It’s not that simple, plebe. We’ve moved up from your simple garden quality weed.  
JAY TEE: (offended) Simple?!  
AJ: We’re dealing in the harder shit nowadays. Make more money. And JC here…  
JAY TEE: (peering closely at JC) So what did he try?  
AJ: The crack. He’s a fuckin’ crack head.  
JAY TEE: (peering at JC) Oh, yeah. ‘Spose it makes a change from normal.  
AJ: What are you implying, teenage malcontent?  
JAY TEE: Well, normally he acts like a fuckin’ junkie. And it’s not like he never lays on the ground or some shit. The way he acts don’t exactly help the rumors none. And I ain’t a fuckin’ teenager no more.  
AJ: Fuck you.  
JAY TEE: Fuck you.  
JC: (giggling through his drug induced haze) Fuck!  
AJ: That’s it. We’re outta here! (leaning down to yell in JC’s ear where he’s flopping on the floor like a fish) JC! GET UP! NEXT STOP IS OURS!

(JC continues to giggle. AJ drags him down the corridor as the train slows to a stop near Walt DisneyWorld, AJ cursing under his breath. JC’s head gets bumped on the edge of the train with a loud crack. JC yells ‘ow’ and then goes back to giggling. Jay Tee watches with an expression that is partway shock and the other revelation. He turns to Quiet Chris.)

JAY TEE: Yo, that could be me, you know.

(Quiet Chris shrugs)

JAY TEE: That could be *you*. (he gets even more alarmed) Quiet Chris, I don’t think we should be dealin’ no more. I don’t wanna end up some fuckin’ fish man like JC, getting brain damage cos you hit my fuckin’ head on a train. And, you know – I don’t want nothin’ to happen to you, man.

(Quiet Chris nods, and holds out an arm. Jay Tee snuggles into him. They’re both quiet for the rest of the journey. The train moves on.)

 

NIGHT:

Scene: A diner, late in the evening. Sitting in a booth by himself is a sturdy looking young man, with short blonde hair. His name is NICK. He chews on his nails as he watches out the window. His leg stops jiggling as he sees Jay Tee and Quiet Chris walk inside. Nick gestures for the pair to join him in the booth. All three light up cigarettes as they sit.

JAY TEE: I dunno, man. Am I gonna catch some motherfuckin’ gay blonde retard disease if I sit here with you?  
NICK: You’ve already got that disease. And you didn’t catch it off me.  
JAY TEE: What, you’re tryin’ to say - that Quiet Chris here gave it to me?  
NICK: You were born with that disease. Anyway - what took you so fuckin’ long?  
JAY TEE: Calm the fuck down, yo. Like I can’t have a fuckin’ life outside of you, like I gotta drop everything I’m fuckin’ doing as soon as I hear your retarded voice? I ain’t your bitch.  
NICK: (sighing) Fine. I guess I won’t be buying off you this week, then.  
JAY TEE: Aw, we’re thinkin’ of giving up the trade ,you know. Anyway, this tiny midget told me to say it!

(Quiet Chris acts all affronted, but then just dismisses Jay Tee’s comments as the usual bullshit that isn’t worth getting upset about)

NICK: Anyway, I got something I wanna ask you.  
JAY TEE: Yeah? Is it about babes? Cos if it’s about babes, I’m your fuckin’ man. You need some tips? I can give ‘em to you, man. (he starts thrusting) Cos I’m a world class act, yo. Everyone chick in Florida knows that if you wanna get connected, youse go see Jay Tee and Quiet Chris, but if you want the best piece of fucking you’ll ever get, youse come to me – Jay Tee.

(Nick tries very hard to hide his giggles)

JAY TEE: So what’s your fuckin’ problem, yo?  
NICK: You know Britney?

(Jay Tee and Quiet Chris look at each other)

JAY TEE: Pinky? Yeah, we know her. Who the fuck doesn’t know ole’ Pinky, if youse know what I mean? (he laughs, sleazily)  
NICK: Yeah. Wait. Huh? Pinky? Why the fuck you calling her Pinky?  
JAY TEE: Pinky, yo. She’s been called that since high school.  
NICK: But why?  
JAY TEE: Cos she’s always rippin’ off her undies and showin’ people her pink bits, if youse know what I mean.  
NICK: And that’s a crime?  
JAY TEE: It is the fuckin’ way she does it. So what, you wanna know if it’s okay to fuck her? Cos I wouldn’t, man.  
NICK: What? No way. Since when have I been interested in women? Nah, it’s D.  
JAY TEE: Howie D, your fuckin’ husband?  
NICK: I think if you look at it right, you’d realise I’m the husband. He’s sooooo the wife.

(Jay Tee looks at Quiet Chris for clarification. Quiet Chris nods)

JAY TEE: Okay, I can agree with you on that one. So what’s with wifey?  
NICK: Well… he’s been hanging out with Britney a lot lately.

(Jay Tee starts laughing hysterically)

JAY TEE: Well, ain’t that just a motherfuckin’ turnaround? Howie, who is probably the biggest fuckin’ cock muncher in all of Florida, making with Pinky’s pinkbits.  
NICK: You think? I mean…  
JAY TEE: Think about it, yo. If some chick was offerin’ herself up, youse gonna say no?  
NICK: Well, I would.  
QUIET CHRIS: I would as well.  
JAY TEE: Yo, shut the fuck up, who asked you to contribute?  
QUIET CHRIS: Jesus, will you close your mouth for one second? God. It’s like listening to a Eminem record on speed with you. You never shut up, and it’s always about your goddamn self.  
JAY TEE: Well, excuse me for fuckin’ breathing.  
QUIET CHRIS: Anyway. I got a story to tell you, Nick.  
NICK: I’m listening.  
QUIET CHRIS: You love Howie. Howie loves you. And what you’ve got is love, and I don’t think either of you are stupid enough to throw that away. This Pinky thing – and I seriously doubt it’s even a thing at all – isn’t enough for you to worry about. If there’s love, you have to trust in it and each other. Anyway. There’s this guy, right? And this guy starts hanging out with this other guy. But this other guy – his name is Justin – he rants and he raves all the time and he says some things that the first guy don’t necessarily agree with, and they don’t do anything worth anyone’s while. By the time the first guy realises that maybe he shouldn’t be hanging around with this Justin, well, it’s too late; he’s already in love with him. So one day, after they’re all relaxed, this guy bites the bullet and he tells Justin how he feels, because he needs to. He feels it and he’s gonna say it, and he thinks that this will be the last time he ever sees Justin in his life.  
NICK: This is a really depressing story so far.  
QUIET CHRIS: Shut up, I’m not finished. Anyway, Justin looks at this guy, and he asks if he’s being shitted. And the guy says, no, some things you just don’t joke about. And so it turns out that this Justin feels the same way this guy does. But he’s pretty young, and he’s pretty stupid, so he’s scared and he doesn’t want anyone to know. And this guy, he loves this Justin, so he goes along with it. And even though it breaks his heart everyday, he puts up with it. Because he knows deep down that Justin loves this guy as much as he loves Justin. And at the end of the day, he’s the one Justin goes home with. So, to answer your question, I don’t think you have anything to worry about with Howie. Because you’re the guy here. And that kind of love doesn’t come around very often. Do you get what I’m saying?  
NICK: (nodding) I think so… (suddenly smiling) You two are fuckin’ gay? Wow! I never fuckin’ saw that one coming! Holy shit, I gotta tell everyone!

(Nick runs out of the dinner, still giggling)

JAY TEE: (glaring at Quiet Chris) Way to go, fuckhead.

(Quiet Chris shrugs. Obviously Jay Tee didn’t learn  
anything from the story, either)

JAY TEE: You calling me fuckin’ dumb? You just told that retard Nick that I’m a fuckin’ dumb kid? Geez. How the shit is anyone gonna take me seriously when that blonde fucker goes ‘round tellin’ everyone I’m fuckin’ retarded?

(Quiet Chris smiles. And then he kisses Jay Tee – and Jay Tee kisses him back)

JAY TEE: Love, yo. It don’t make sense.  
QUIET CHRIS: No. It doesn’t.

Scene: This is what Heaven looks like. Standing in the middle of it is an angel, who smiles beatifically down at the goings on of the day. His name is BRIAN. He is happy with the way he worked today. He feels at peace, and content with the knowledge of a job well done. He stares down at our two boys.

BRIAN: My work here is done.


End file.
